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Self-Esteem, Self-Confidence, Self-Efficacy: Raising a Happy, Socially Adjusted and Successful Teen

December 19, 2010 By 1 Comment

By Ivana Pejakovic -

Children’s self-esteem starts forming during the ‘baby years.’ Babies’ experiences with their parents during these early years start shaping their self-image, self-confidence, and self-efficacy. Parents who spend much of their time criticizing as opposed to praising what their kids do or attempt to do may foster low self-esteem and self-efficacy.

Parents send out many messages to their children about who they are. Young children absorb these messages and accept them as fact. As kids grow, other people enter their lives. Siblings, other family members, and family friends will also influence the way the young children see themselves.

The more positive messages young children receive about themselves the better chance they have of developing a positive self-esteem and in building their faith in their capabilities. Experiences during this early time play an important role in setting children up for the next stage in their life; how each child will relate to teachers, peers, academic challenges, and strangers.

When they start school kids go in with an already set level of self-esteem and self-efficacy. This will influence how children see themselves in this new environment and how they perceive their ability to handle new situations such as relating to peers.

During the elementary school years, new experiences continue to shape children’s self-esteem. Often times these new experiences will reinforce the beliefs children have already formed about themselves. Whether they are limited or boundless self-beliefs, children, just like adults, will use novel situations to support how they see and feel about themselves.

When kids enter the teen years, they enter these years with self-esteem and self-confidence levels that were formed based on the experiences they endured during infancy and childhood. The type of feedback they received from parents, teachers, coaches, and peers has now shaped their view of their worth, their abilities, and who they are.

During these years, parents still have a strong influence on how children perceive themselves. They have the power to counter the negative experiences children have and to endorse the positive ones. How parents help their kids handle the new situations will influence children’s subsequent self-perception.

Self-esteem develops early in life and evolves as kids go through different life experiences. Each life experience shapes their self-image which in turn shapes their self-esteem and level of confidence. It is important for parents to realize the power they have in shaping their children’s image of themselves and how they feel about themselves.

As soon as infants start exploring the world, parents need to provide a secure and positive learning environment. Correcting their children’s behaviour in a caring and nurturing manner is the best approach to build a positive self-image and a healthy self-esteem and confidence level in their children.

Interested in more information about the benefits of teen coaching? Visit www.lifecoachintoronto.com and learn how Toronto Life Coach and Mentor, Ivana Pejakovic can help motivate your teens to achieve their goals.

Teens are a very special part of our society. They are our tomorrow! Today, it is up to us to inspire them to be all that they can be!

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Improving Your Overweight Teen’s Self-Esteem

September 8, 2010 By Leave a Comment

By Lynn Siprelle -

While there are many factors that go into a weight problem, self-esteem is one of the most complicated. Low self-esteem can lead to overeating and idle-inducing depression, which can lead to weight gain, which can lead to even lower self-esteem. It’s a vicious cycle. What can a parent do to help?

The most important thing you can do is to let your teen know what you DO like about him, and what he is doing well. Be generous, but always authentic, with your praise; teens have a sensitive “sincerity meter” and they can tell when you’re not being truthful.

Make sure your teen knows that her weight is not who she is. There is more to her than the numbers on the scale.

If she has always wanted to try a new activity but is waiting for the magical day when she’ll be “thin,” encourage her to go ahead and do it anyway. Don’t let your teen put off life waiting to lose weight; it’s counterproductive.

Teach your teen to use positive statements about himself, and to avoid negative ones. “I’m a good friend” is an example of a positive statement. “I’m so fat, everyone hates me” is an example of a negative statement. You would never talk to your teen like that; don’t let your teen talk to himself like that.

The absolute WORST thing you can do is to ridicule or shame your teen into losing weight. It doesn’t work. It makes things worse. We cannot emphasize this enough. All you are doing by using those tactics is destroying your relationship with your teen, and damaging your teen’s already-fragile self-esteem. All that does is feed into the vicious cycle we talked about above.

Instead of talking to her about fat or thin, encourage your teenager to focus on behaviors which will promote a much healthier weight. Talk to your family doctor, and he will help to set realistic goals for your teenager with regard to body mass index, and the weight they should be based on their age, height and general health.

Being overweight does not always lead to a lifetime of low self esteem, but your acceptance of your teen’s weight problem is critical.

An excerpt from Teen Weight Loss [http://www.thenewhomemaker.com/teenweightloss], an ebook on helping your teenager lose weight.

Lynn Siprelle is the editor of The New Homemaker (http://www.thenewhomemaker.com)–a secular source of news and support for stay-at-home parents and caregivers since 1999. The New Homemaker covers parenting, homeschooling, elder care, managing money, home cooking, healthy living, crafts and more, and hosts one of the most caring, supportive and FUN communities on the Internet. Come join the conversation!

© 2002-2007 Lynn Siprelle, some rights reserved under Creative Commons, Attribution-No Deriv 3.0: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/3.0/

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Tone up your Teen

April 12, 2010 By 1 Comment

teenby Kerri Zane -

“My mom’s a workout freak.” That is how my youngest daughter describes me. I know it was said with humor, love and yes a bit of pride. There is a grain of truth to the statement for sure.  Exercising is the most significant pledge I make to myself and I want my children to feel the way I do about the importance of making fitness a lifetime commitment.

I have never forced my passion for exercise on my two daughters, instead I believe as they observe my commitment to daily training it has subtly pervaded their daily life. My oldest daughter stated it most brilliantly, just before she slipped out the door on the way to the gym, “Our parents are our best role models, not the people we see on TV or famous athletes.” I believe she is right.  I want to do everything in my power to inspire my teens to exercise, not only because it’s important for their physical well being but because it’s important for their mental health too. It has been proven adolescents who exercise tend to have a lot more going for them than teens who don’t engage in physical activity.

Researchers have found that teens who make exercise a habit are less likely to engage in risky behaviors like smoking, drinking or sex at an early age. Instead, they are more likely to have positive traits such as better self-esteem, higher grades and they sleep better.
Here are 10 proven benefits for teens who participate in some kind of physical activity five or more times a week.

1. They are less likely to have sex, including sex without birth control.
2. They are less likely to smoke cigarettes.
3. They are less likely to get drunk frequently or drive while drunk.
4. They are less likely to use illegal drugs other than marijuana.
5. They are less likely to be absent from school.
6. They are more likely to wear a seatbelt.
7. They are more likely to have better self-esteem.
8. They are more likely to get ‘A’ grades in math and science.
9. They are more likely to sleep at least eight hours per night.
10. They are more likely to do housework and have summer jobs outside the home.

The type of physical activity your kids get involved in is not as important as simply moving their bodies and cranking up their heart rate. The American Heart Association suggests that teens raise their heart rates for 20 minutes without stopping, three or more times a week. Physical fitness outside of a school program should be fun, inspirational and something your teens look forward to participating in. It should not feel like a PE class.

Let your kids know that a little muscle soreness is normal, especially in the first few weeks of a fitness program. Make sure their daily program includes stretching and warm up. And remember that out-of-shape kids should start out slowly, since they are more prone to serious injury if they do too much too soon.

If you do your part to keep yourself in shape and exercise regularly you will inspire your teens to do the same. The bonus for you, as a parent, and for your kids are all the added positive behavioral bene’s that come with their commitment to fitness.

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