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Authenticity: The Key to an Empowered Life

July 3, 2011 By Leave a Comment

By Stacey Shaw -

When we find our authentic voice, our lives shift dramatically. What do I mean by authentic voice? I mean that we learn how to increase the awareness of our truest desires, dreams, and talents. We learn to bring these out into the world with less fear and worry about what others may think of us.

Being authentic sounds like an easy task, but by the time we reach adulthood, many of us have learned to stifle our personal truth and deepest feelings. We have learned, through the influence of family, society, media, and school, to change or withhold our authentic emotions and thoughts in order to gain the approval of others and avoid ridicule. This slowly erodes our personal integrity and we can feel it. We don’t feel quite right. We may even feel a form of shame, without being able to point to a specific cause. We feel somehow inauthentic, maybe even losing touch with our own Truth.

So, how do we practice being more authentic; more in alignment with our own honest expression? First, we must be willing to look inside and examine our own behavior. This means paying attention. Have you told any big lies lately? How about “little white” lies? Were any of the lies necessary? Why? How could you have been more honest with yourself and others?

Now, after noticing these aspects, we need to begin telling the whole truth about things. Even when it is difficult, we need to strive toward a higher degree of honesty. This definitely includes being honest with ourselves. Through this process of noticing our comfort with speaking the Truth, suspend any self-judgment that arises. Just notice, pay attention, and change behavior. Do not judge.

Increase your tolerance for feeling vulnerable. This self-examination process may feel vulnerable. We often lie or dodge the truth because it is frightening to be vulnerable, but when we learn to be vulnerable and open with our Truth, this is where the sweetest feelings can come from. This means that we practice exploring and sharing our thoughts, dreams, hopes, fears and doubts with others without self-judgement and without worrying about being judged by others. This is where the power comes in. As we learn to practice, we feel more joyful, more liberated, more powerful. We feel authentic!

Being authentic in this way consistently and over time will improve your relationships, work life, and sense of well-being. You will be in alignment with yourself and your sense of integrity will soar!

Stacey Shaw, M.Ed is a dynamic trainer and coach. She is highly intuitive and able to go to the heart of her clients needs. Stacey has created the Women’s Worth, Women’s Wealth system as a break-through tool for women to achieve their personal and financial dreams. When not coaching, Stacey teaches and performs Hoop Dance. For coaching, visit: http://www.staceyshaw.com

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Authenticity – Living Life in Harmony With Our True Inner Self

April 12, 2011 By Leave a Comment

By Elias Scultori -

If we had a poll today asking people if they lived their lives authentically, I am almost certain we would get a very positive answer from the majority of the interviewees. I want to believe that most people live their lives acting and performing in the best of their abilities. They work hard. Most of the time they tell the truth. They respect each other. And they try to make connections that are lasting and fulfilling.

But is this true authenticity? The English dictionary says that authenticity means “the genuineness or truth of something.” When we read this and haphazardly apply to our daily routines, I believe most people would say they live lives that are authentic and that they act with authenticity. Most people would say they are sincere, genuine and that they act with truth.

But let’s go a little deeper. What are your true desires? What are the things that you long for the most? What is it that you truly believe in? Where does your heart reside? What is it that you really, really want for your life today? Who are you?

You see, most of the time we live our lives doing the things the way we were taught to live. We go about making choices, making decisions based on what people have told us would be the best for us or on what they expect of us. And we never really, truly questioned them to find out if they are in agreement with our own true selves, with who we really are. The result of this is that we end up dissatisfied, annoyed, perhaps angry, frustrated and sometimes even depressed and hopeless. We accommodate and life becomes uninteresting. And we go about blaming others, blaming our family, blaming our government, politicians and even blaming God.

A true authentic life is the one that is in synchronicity with our core values. A true authentic life is the one that ticks flawlessly together with our heart. Do you know what that is? Do you live in that place? What would take for you to discover this?

This is no simple task. We are constantly bombarded by society’s wishes and demands that we often relinquish ourselves to them. In the process we lose focus and forget the longings of our soul. But we can reclaim our space. Everyday we must tune in, call for our internal voice and listen. Everyday, at the moment of every decision and every action we must ask ourselves if that is authentic for us, if that is genuine and true, not according to anyone else, but solely to us. Then we will be living a true authentic life.

This is a path that takes courage and determination, but that is rewarding and satisfying. We can do this. Start today!

Elias Scultori is a professional life coach. His practice and speaking engagements expand across the country and abroad. His focus is on helping his clients remove barriers, unearth their talents and true desires so they can build a personal and/or professional life journey that is full, rewarding and authentic. Elias was born in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil and presently lives in Princeton, NJ. To find out more go to www.lifecoaching-egs.com

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Is This True and Accurate?

April 4, 2011 By Leave a Comment

By Irene Conlan -

In the past week  I  have received three e-nails that made me want to take immediate action. One told me that Johns Hopkins was finally aligned with holistic medicine (I wanted to celebrate); another told me that the new Health Care Bill contained the word Dhimmitude which exempted Muslims from Obamacare and set the stage for a Muslim takeover of the United States (I was ready to protest); and a third told me the best treatment for burns was to put flour on them (I put flour on my shopping list). Each one raised red flags for me and I decided to check them out. I Googled the word  Dhimmitude and was taken directly to snopes.com, “the definitive Internet reference source for urban legends, folklore, myths, rumors, and misinformation.”

I learned that the word Dhimmitude is not in the Health Care Bill, Johns Hopkins has not gone holistic and flour doesn’t do diddly for burns. I had been ready to start a massive protest against the Health Care Bill which I find unacceptable in the first place and applaud John’s Hopkins for finally seeing that we need to look beyond science at times for things that help the ill human being (how can science prove love, for example, and love is a powerful healing agent). And I was planning to buy a couple of big bags of flour to use in case any of us should get burned.

In this age of accelerated information when a message can go viral on the Internet and reach thousands of computers or smart phones in a matter of hours, it is critically important that we know what we’re talking about and not get caught up in spreading rumor, innuendo and false information. I learned a long time ago that if the message gets me fired up with anger, excited that something utterly amazing and entirely unexpected has happened or sounds too good to be true, I’d better check it out before I send it on.

We have enough bad news that’s real and more than enough misinformation in circulation already. We don’t need to add to the mix. So if the message makes you angry or makes you wonder, check it out before you hit the forward key.

A part of self improvement is knowing that what you say represents the truth as much as possible and that you don’t malign others with untruth or innuendo. So before you decide to send things on, ask yourself one simple question, “Is this true and is this accurate?” If you aren’t sure, check it out.

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Politics as Usual

August 26, 2008 By Leave a Comment

By Irene Conlan

I’ve been following the presidential campaigns as well as our state campaigns for the U.S. Congress and I am sad to say that the faces change but the rhetoric stays the same. I was once married to a U.S. Congressman so I have a bit of experience in this “campaign stuff.”

Last week McCain said he didn’t know how many houses he owned and this week Obama didn’t know what town he was in. Both have made major gaffs that give the other side ammunition for derogatory comments and negative campaign ads. Each is bashing the other, each is reaching for anything that helps them win. They’re tired, they’re overbooked and they’re human. While they say a lot of words, neither candidate offers any hard specifics about what they’ll do once in office. Each offers a lot of generalities. Actually, they can’t do much more than that because, thank God, they are not a one man show once they get elected. They have a Legislative and Judicial branch they have to work with and getting that many “important” people to work together is like herding cats. The also have to cut through all the lobbyists and that is an even bigger challenge.

Last night I watched the opening of the Democrat Convention and felt like I was at a pep rally. Little of substance was said. Michele Obama gave the keynote address and I found myself feeling a bit distressed. She wore a beautiful designer dress, was coiffed and impeccable in her appearance and tried to convince the conventioneers that she was “middle class” just like them. (Actually, she has her own dress designer, Maria Pinto, whom she has used “for a long time.” I don’t know many middle class women who have their own dress designer, do you?) She gave a speech that was full of words but short on both feeling and substance. I wasn’t convinced. She kept trying to persuade the “congregation” that she and her candidate-husband are middle class – just like them. She painfully recited all the problems encountered by herself and Barack in their early years growing up in middle class neighborhoods. She failed to mention that she graduated from both Princeton and Harvard. I felt she “protesteth too much.” I came away from it wanting to know who the “real” Michele Obama is.

The children were beautiful.

The commentators afterwards lined up on both sides, of course. Some seemed to think the speech was on target, wonderful, portraying a true picture of a middle class family that is headed for the White House. Others saw them portrayed as Bevear-Cleaver-family-wanna-be types in an effort to get votes. There was little middle ground with the news media.

On a state level it’s much worse. We have a number of candidates in the race for a congressional seat in my district in Arizona. All talk about “clean campaigns” and the mud is flying faster than I’ve ever seen political mud fly. I get 3 or 4 pre-recorded phone messages a day from these candidates, each bashing the others and asking for my vote – and my money. It will be a matter of picking the “lesser of the evils” on election day. That is very sad.

Where are the statesmen? Who has a passion for this country strong enough to put all the personal aggrandizement aside? Don’t tell me what you think I want to hear. Don’t read the polls in the morning paper and stand for the “ issues of the day.” What are your stands on the issues? What do you want to accomplish? That’s what I want to know – consistently and unembellished.

Senators McCain and Obama, don’t think I’ll vote for you just because you’re a war hero or a black man, a Democrat or a Republican, a liberal or a conservative or because you’re the “media darling.” I’m not voting for your wife or your children or  for you because you have a nice personality. I’m not turned off because you make a mistake or misspeak when you’re rushed or tired. I will vote for you based on your record and your stand on the issues. I will place my vote where I see integrity and openness. Please, please let us know what your positions really are and what you truly want to accomplish as President of the United States of America.

Readers, don’t get mad at me because you think I bashed your favorite candidate. I’m an equal opportunity basher. I love America. I want the best leader we can elect as President because we are in trouble as a nation. We need a statesman. Will the real statesman please stand up?

Let’s see some honesty, here. Let’s see some leadership. Let’s see some truth.

Can we shift gears and make it Politics NOT as usual?

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