It appears that there are 3 main reasons why a person is verbally abusive toward someone else:
1) The person is evil and mean. You see this. It is there. Some people are just unbelievably mean and cruel. Sometimes people get involved with people like that because the mean person is nice enough to fool the other person. Then when you are married the real person comes out. The evil, the meanness, the cruelty.
2) The person thinks that being cruel, mean and evil to others is justified because they know best. Or it is for your own good. Or because they love you or some other lame excuse. They will justify shouting at you or criticizing you because they are looking out for you. You need to be told what to do and how to think.
3) They forgot that they are this way for some medical or mental or physical reason. They will spend hours lecturing you on your faults late into the night, go to bed and the next day not remember saying anything. They will lash out at you with cruel name calling, sarcastic remarks or raging fits. Then later will talk to you like nothing happened. They will be nice and loving.
In all 3 cases the end result is the same.
You are verbally abused and it hurts.
You are lessened as a person. Verbal abuse hurts you. The longer this happens to you the more it affects you.
Just the hearing of bad against you affects you.
The reasons why it is happening do not matter. What matters is that it is happening to you.
And you need it to stop.
The stronger you are, the more confident you are, the more you are in charge of your own life, the less this kind of thing affects you. You get out sooner.
But, it will affect you. If this is your spouse saying this and doing this, it will affect you.
The absolute best way to deal with this kind of thing is to leave it behind.
Leave. It is easiest. It works and it is best.
Hans Hallanger is The Organized Man. Check out the link http://www.organized-way.com/leave-your-wife.html to learn more about the eBook “How to Leave Your Wife.”
He also writes about getting organized. Do you dream of having more free time, of a simpler life, of less stress, of an uncluttered home, of well-designed storage systems and about getting more done? My website, http://www.organized-way.com/index.html is full of easy ways to quickly improve your life.