Happy people tend to be happy with themselves flaws and all. In fact, happy people tend to know their flaws intimately but they are more likely to laugh about them than take them seriously. With this knowing that it is perfectly normal to be imperfect, happy people express themselves authentically and the good news is that they allow others to do the same.
If you have ever wondered how to be happy in a relationship, then the quick answer therefore is that it is critical to be authentically you. This is crucial because being you is the only way you can have relationships with the people with whom you are a perfect match.
Happiness in life comes in part from having happy relationships. The reason your relationships don’t work is not because you are who you are, it is because you hide who you are. In so doing, you attract people who are perfect for your fake persona but who are not a great match for the real you. Even the biggest jerks if they are authentic, will have true and dear friends who resonate with them.
You are a complete stranger to the other person in every relationship in which you are faking it. That person may have seen you hundreds of times, and may know you for many years, but they have absolutely no idea who you are. What if they are also deceiving you in the same way? It feels uncomfortable to think that the people you know are strangers to you, doesn’t it? Yet many relationships are struggling with this deception without either party knowing it. Every now again one person slips and their real self is expressed and it catches the other person off guard. In fact, many relationships including marriages have ended with one or both partners thinking “It’s almost like I didn’t even know him/her!” Has this ever happened to you?
If you find yourself feeling drained or tired after spending time with someone it may be because you are using a lot of energy trying to suppress your real self. Being afraid to say what you really think, agreeing when you really disagree, pretending to like or dislike things when the opposite is true, saying yes when you really want to say no, are all tell-tale signs that you are not being authentically you. Finding happiness in your relationships will be difficult if your fake persona is preventing you from truly enjoying the experience of spending time with others.
Pretending to be who you are not, hiding your flaws, and wearing a mask wears you out. Faking is fatiguing and trying to fool others that you are perfect is a fool’s game. To create more joy it’s much wiser to just be yourself, flaws and all. Stop pretending, take off your mask and start being unapologetic about who you really are. Being unapologetically you will result in pure freedom and in that way you can achieve happiness. Freedom to be, freedom to express, freedom to explore, freedom to create amazing relationships.
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