By Keith Paul Claridge -
How do you develop self-confidence when you feel that you have none? Can you picture the day when you feel really good about yourself? How will you feel? How will you speak? What will you look like? The tips I will share with you will help you get you closer to that day. Everything I will share with you in this article I have learned and used to build my self-confidence.
The benefits of self-confidence are many: your social life, your career, your relationships will all become better. Why? When you possess self-confidence people will see you as different, because they energy that you give out will be different.
Think about someone you know who exhibits self-confidence. Think about the energy they give off. Self-confidence is attractive, people like to be around those who possess it, they give off a charisma. The tips I will share with you will help you be that person. There are 3 components to becoming self-confident: Your thought life, your speech and your actions
Self-confident people say, “I can” If they see a problem they think, “How can I solve this?” Self-confident people possess a positive thought life; they see the plusses and not the negative. They have an ‘I can’ attitude and not an ‘I can’t’ attitude. So the first thing for you to do is to change your mentality.
A way for you to do this is in the morning while showering and getting ready is to recite positive affirmations to yourself. Examples such as “I am self-confident”, “I can do… “Think of what you want to be able to do, it may be something you have to do that day. You should repeat these affirmations about 5-10 times. Other things you can affirm about yourself are the qualities you possess: I am kind, I am a good listener, I am intelligent; whatever you are.
Every day you should use positive affirmations. Make it a habit to do it in the morning. As you do this, you will begin to see a change in how you think, as you encourage your mind to think differently, as you sow seeds of positivity.
The second aspect is how you speak. I’m going to give you some do not’s. Do not always apologise for everything. Here is what I mean, you don’t have to apologise for not being able to do something for someone. If a friend says, “Hey, can you help me move house on Saturday?” but you’ve already got plans, you don’t have to apologise. It is acceptable to say, “I already have plans on Saturday.” One think you could do in this situation is offer an alternative, “Do you need any help Friday night or Sunday?”
Another “Do Not” I’d like to share is the use of the sound ‘errrr’ when you speak. A lot of people say “Errrr” between thoughts to show that they are thinking, but what it does is make them sound unsure or unprepared, or just plain unintelligent.
It is a habit that you need to break if you do it. If you need time to think, say to the person you are speaking with, “Let me just think.” They then know why you are going quiet for a moment. Allowing yourself to having a moment’s pause also allows you to formulate your thoughts to make sure you are saying the right, intelligent and confident words.
How we carry our self tells others a lot about our state of mind. We don’t always think about what message we are sending, but it is very important. We all subconsciously send and read body language all the time.
When you walk you should always look up, not down at the floor. When we look down to the floor we are giving a message that we aren’t confident, that we aren’t open to talking with them. You should push your shoulders back and hold your stomach in. This will create a positive state of mind and it gives the message to others that you are self-confident, even if you aren’t.
These are a few simple strategies for you to use starting today. Remember confidence starts in your mind and shows through your speech and actions. Growing in self-confidence is a journey and what I’ve shared with you is just a start. I wish you all the best as you grow in self-confidence.
Keith Claridge
For more information on self-confidence, success and motivation have a look at my blog http://keithclaridge.com
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