It may be flowers, candy and romantic bubble baths in the beginning, but after you have kids, your relationship with your significant other will inevitably change. But don’t worry! All it takes is a little effort from both of you to keep your relationship on track and make it work as you raise little ones. Try these tips to keep your love connection strong:
Take a break from technology.
As parents, you don’t have much time to spend alone with your significant other, so when you do get to have a few precious moments together, leave your phone behind. A lot of parents get into the habit of checking social media, catching up on emails or reading the daily news in the few minutes they have to spare at the end of the evening. Once the kids are asleep, try putting the phone down and using these quiet moments to reconnect with your significant other.
Expressing gratitude towards your partner helps you both feel closer to each other and more satisfied with the relationship, so make a point to do it at least once a day. Women love to be treated and pampered, a night out on the town, or a day of relaxation at the spa, however it’s important to show gratitude to small acts of kindness and not just these grand gestures. Did your husband start the shower for you so the water would be hot right when you got out of bed? Or did he take the garbage out without you asking? Show gratitude for every nice thing that your partner does, no matter how small it may be.
Don’t fight dirty.
Having kids can be exhausting and stressful which can lead to a lot of nitpicking and unnecessary fights. During these fights, keep your relationship intact by playing fair. Don’t make any personally insulting comments about your significant other and try to maintain a sense of humor while you get your point across. It may help to reach out and physically touch your partner as you fight, which makes the argument seem more intimate, turning it into a conversation instead of a battle.
Talk about your future.
Now that you have kids, what else do you want to plan for in your life? Maybe you and your significant other have always dreamed of traveling through Europe or saving up for a vacation home. Whatever your future plans may be, talk about them with your significant other. This will serve as a reminder to each other that there is a life for the both of you as a couple outside of having kids together.
Try something new.
If you do have time for a date night, skip the old dinner and a movie routine and try something new. Research local classes that the two of you could take together, whether it be a pottery class or new exercise regimen that you’ve wanted to try. Tackling a new and exciting activity together will help you reignite the spark and sense of adventure that is often found in the early stages of relationships. Both of you will remember the spontaneity and energy that you fell in love with within the other person, and this simple activity can help strengthen the bond that you share.
When implementing all of these tips into your love life, it’s important to remember that your significant other is not just your co-parent, but also your life partner. Try to separate the two by avoiding or limiting conversations about your kids when you’re spending alone time together. Doing so will help you find the romantic spark that burned bright before you had kids!
Born and raised in Austin, TX, Hilary Smith is a free-lance journalist whose love of gadgets, technology and business has no bounds. After becoming a parent she now enjoys writing about family and beauty related topics on the web and for www.brilliance.com