Curbing Self Sabotage

By Lizzie O’Halloranpassive aggressive

Often when you get close to achieving your desires your brain finds a way to make you scared. It will come up with a million “what ifs” & if you’re not ready to fight these off, you’ll self sabotage your success.

Careers are a perfect example of this. You can spend years being a frustrated artist waiting for your big break. Then, as soon as the break arrives you start telling yourself it’s clashing with your other commitments, or you convince yourself you’re not good enough. If you don’t fight off, or ignore these fears you will believe them & in turn convince yourself to avoid the big break. Leaving you once again feeling ‘down’ – waiting for the next big break to arrive.

The fear of the unknown can be extremely intense. It’s much safer to stay where you are because you can tell yourself you haven’t yet ‘made it’ because the circumstances haven’t been right. The scary part is thinking what if I take that break and fall flat on my face – then what do I do???

However, if you can believe that each step is part of the process and even reward yourself for taking each break – regardless of the outcome, you will enjoy the journey and get closer and closer to where you want to be.

Of course the challenge is fighting the self doubt that gets in your way, so there are a number of ways to do this.

1. Start with recognizing negative thoughts about something you have been wanting to happen for a while are the product of self preservation. Your mind is trying to prevent you from possible being hurt by taking a step towards the unknown,

2. Catch yourself having these negative thoughts and tell yourself they are not true because you decided on this goal – knowing you could cope with every challenge that you faced along the way.

3. When the negative thoughts are persistent challenge them by telling yourself that you trust in your abilities and by saying the complete opposite. If you have been desperate for a career move, then the minute a high level job comes your way you get get excited and then start self sabotaging – now is the time to fight. Take out your resume and your most recent performance appraisal from your current job to remind yourself of your breadth of skills and capabilities. This way you can fight the self doubt with real evidence that you have the skills to apply for the new job.

Every goal is going to seem scary when you get close to achieving it. This is why sports professionals often need a sport psychologist to help them with techniques to re-focus and not allow their self doubts to affect their performance. By taking active steps to challenge negative self talk, you can take each step forward with ease and confidence.

Happy Life is dedicated to helping people achieve success and happiness in all areas of life. Find out more at: www.happylife.net.au

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