Happiness, shmappiness! Shouldn’t We Talk About What Needs to Be Fixed About Me?

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So this blog is about self improvement, right? Right.

Then why are you writing about happiness all the time? Shouldn’t we talk about how I can be a success, or how I can deal with stress, or how I can manifest my perfect mate, or how I can overcome my fear of something?

Well, let’s think about it.

Remember the last time you felt really happy. You may have been with a group of friends or just one special significant other. There was a lot of laughter and things just seemed to keep on getting better as the day went along. You may not have even been aware of it, but a feeling of contentment and well-being seemed to penetrate you and cocoon you. All was right with your world.

So let me ask you, during this time:

  1. Were you concerned about how you were going to manage your stress level?
  2. Were you obsessing over the pimple on your chin?
  3. Were you wondering how you would pay the credit card bill?
  4. Were you considering ways to handle your explosive temper?
  5. Were you concerned about the meeting next week?
  6. Were you planning your next weight loss program?
  7. Were you planning ways to overcome your shyness or your fear of public speaking?
  8. Were you worrying about what you were going to do next week or next year or five yeas from now?
  9. Were you worrying or stressing about anything at all?

And I’m willing to bet that your answer to any of those questions was a clear “No.” When you were in that state of warm fuzzies, of laughter, of well-being – of happiness – those other things didn’t matter, did they? I’m not saying or implying that you shouldn’t plan ahead, or pay the bills or take care of yourself. But when we are feeling truly happy, those things don’t cause stress within us.

Now, let me ask you this:

If you truly liked and accepted who you are, right now, as “unimproved” as you may think you are – would happiness be easier? When you are feeling really good about yourself, doesn’t the feeling of happiness come more often and last longer?

And one last question. When you feel really good about yourself and you are experiencing a feeling of happiness, do you head for the bookstore and spend time in the self-help section or do you go about enjoying your day? Do you get more work done at a higher quality level? Do you make new friends easier and enjoy the old friends more? Do you feel more creative? Is it easier to work out, eat right, handle your stress, sleep better?

I rest my case.

So we’re going to spend more and more time on self acceptance and creating happiness so there wil be no more need for self improvement blogs. Hmmm. Maybe I’ll need a new blog.

Irene Conlan

Irene Conlan has a master's degree in nursing, She taught nursing at Arizona State University, served as Director of Nursing Administration at St. Luke's Hospital and Medical Center in Phoenix and served as Assistant Director of the Arizona Department of Health Services for the Division of Health Care Facilities and Emergency Medical Services. Now retired, she is an avid blogger and manages http://www.theselfimprovementblog.com,http://www.theselfesteemblog.com and hosts the Self Improvement Radio Show on VoiceAmerica. Irene lives in Fountain Hills, AZ and has two sons and four grandsons. 

2 thoughts on “Happiness, shmappiness! Shouldn’t We Talk About What Needs to Be Fixed About Me?

  • July 18, 2008 at 4:12 pm
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    Dear Dr. Irene,

    I couldn’t figure out how else to contact you, so I hope this finds you.

    I came across your article “Self Improvement Is Not For Sissies” on ezinearticles and then found your blog. I really like what you’re writing and I’d love it to appear on our site, brightfuture.us

    Bright Future is a developing article hub and community focused on healing worldwide problems.

    The self improvement piece would be a very welcome addition, as would any of your other work that you think fits our criteria (http://www.brightfuture.us/new/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=49&Itemid=80). If you want your articles to appear on our site, registration and publishing only take a few minutes.

    Let me know if you have any questions.

    Warmly,
    Carly

    carly.brightfuture@gmail.com

  • September 25, 2008 at 1:06 am
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    Good job! There’s just too much pablum out there that will place the bandaid but won’t fix the deeper lying wound. NLP? Sure, but what of deeper, underlying cause. Law of Attraction? Sure, but what of the 95% who will never succeed because of poor work ethic, lack of faith, or general, overall, emotional toughness required to see most success through. There certainly is a lot more than meets the eye . . . errrr . . the articles here. Thank goodness someone understands that mental health is not a hollywood-amazingly-it’s-all-better-in-30-minutes TV show. Thanks.

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