We talk a lot about healthy self esteem these days. In fact, some say we talk too much about self esteem and self love. I disagree. We’re bombarded by the media to be, look and act a certain way. If we are told or we believe that we don’t measure up to those standards, our self-esteem takes a beating.
Create Healthy Self Esteem
To combat the daily beating and create healthy self esteem, I found a phrase that works for me. Perhaps it will work for you as well. The first time I heard the statement, “What other people think of me is none of my business,” I objected. I have since changed my mind and celebrate the truth of it. Think about it.
What we think of ourselves is what is important. We can move forward with confidence because we like who we are or it holds us back because we think that somehow we are not “good enough,” don’t “measure up,” “don’t deserve,” etc.
Influences on Self Esteem
Our self-image/self-esteem develops as we mature. As children we learn who we are primarily from our parents, siblings and other significant ones around us. If we buy in to negative statements such as, “You’ll never amount to anything,” or comments that we are too fat, too thin, too stupid, too young, too old–too anything–we probably store it on the negative side of the self-esteem balance sheet. We probably have a positive balance on our self-esteem balance sheet if we are encouraged and given positive feedback.. However, we seem to give more credence to those negative comments and come back to them time and again.
Other people influence our self esteem us as well. If we feel that they are unfriendly or if move away, say mean things, or act in some other negative way to us, we may wonder, “What’s the matter with me?” There is probably nothing the matter with you. The other person may be having a bad day or is just generally unfriendly. If you like yourself, you can usually shrug off their remarks and/or actions, but if you do not like yourself, you may take their negative remarks and/or actions quite personally, letting it fester until it ruins your day.
And, as I mentioned in the beginning, the media has a huge influence on how we think we should look, be, and act.
Rule of Thumb
Most people are busy thinking about themselves. And, if they enjoy negative thinking and speaking, gossip, rumors and hearsay they have lost most of their credibility. So why worry about what they think? If you think they are spreading lies and innuendo, getting upset about it won’t make a bit of difference.
I like who I am, know that I do the best I can. I am honest in my transactions on every level and treat other people with kindness. So what does it matter what other people think?
If you don’t feel this way and need some help in boosting your self esteem, there are some steps you can take to do that. Do a Google search on “healthy self esteem” or start with a good article from a reliable source on boosting self esteem.
And so I reiterate, “What other people think of me is none of my business.” It’s strictly their business and I don’t have to bother with it.