Are you a people pleaser? Do you try to attend other peoples’ needs, instead of your own needs and end up pleasing no one? Everyone is responsible to meet the needs of people around him but this concept should not be pushed to an unhealthy level.
The habit of pleasing everyone is often cultivated since childhood and most of the times it is due to critical parents and chaotic families. Children grown in such families believe that the only way to happiness is getting approval from everyone.
A person can break this vicious circle of being good to everyone by learning to communicate their own needs to others in a healthy manner. It is very important to be respectful of others while communicating your thoughts and needs. It can take some practice to draw a line between our own desires and demands of others. You will need some time to get your life back on track but one can become a much better person by understanding his needs and attending his own priorities.
It is a smart idea ask help from a consultant or a close friend. You need someone to identify the things which are holding you back in your life. It is very not important to find the situations where you are not assertive. This can help you to get to the root of the problem.
One should always learn to speak for himself. Don`t talk as a second person. Try to take responsibility for what you are doing or feeling.
First of all you need to please yourself. Ask yourself about your needs and desires and wait for the answer.
Learn to say “NO”. The biggest problem of insecure people is that they cannot say no to others. You should not make excuses but give solid reasons for not doing something.
Try to do the things your way and practice not worrying about what everybody else will think about it. You can listen to others but at the end, your choice should matter. Always remember that you will never reach your full potential by doing everything according to the people around you.
If you have been a “people pleaser” for a long time then it`s time to shift your focus from others to yourself. The transition is difficult but it can influence your life in a positive manner.
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