What is the relationship between trust and honesty? This interesting question influences many relationships in times of stress where either trust or honesty has been compromised. In the following article we will be looking at how they interrelate and the importance of both in relationship.
Trust means the ‘firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability or strength of someone or something’. Even though this description does not specifically include honesty, it is, in my opinion, implied in the word truth. Honesty has been put into similar categories with integrity, honor, morality, high principles, fairness, truthfulness, reliability, dependability and trustworthiness. Most of you would agree with me that those words describe states that we would like to experience in our relationship.
Don’t you trust me?
If there is potential for distrust it often goes hand-in-hand with dishonesty. One partner might sense that the other person’s words or actions don’t add up. In my experience as a relationship coach, most women who are cheated on by their man can tell or have a sense that it is happening. They might not have proof but their intuition is giving them clear signals that something is going on. When they confront their partner and it might not yet be the time to come out with the truth and be honest about what happened, they are often asked: ‘Don’t you trust me? Don’t you believe what I tell you?’
Your actions speak louder than your words
Trust and belief in someone else’s words more often have to do with your intuition than with their words. Remember that by your communication you only transmitted 7% of the message. The rest is what we ‘get’ from the tonality and the body language.
Trust your intuition
As a first priority I suggest to clients that they trust their own intuition and be honest with themselves. Having said that I have seen numerous couples who choose to stay in a relationship, whether they really know what is going on when they noticed the trust in their partner was shaky, or not. Truth and honesty can both have the effect to destroy or to deepen a relationship, depending on whether it is the right time and for the right reason you chose to tell a potentially hurtful truth.
Honesty and trust
Honesty and trust belong together like a picture and a frame. It is possible to have one without the other but for the most successful and satisfying experience you need both together.
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Nathalie Himmelrich is the founder of ‘Reach for the Sky Therapy’ on Sydney’s Northern Beaches and specialises in ‘relationship related issues’. She is working with individuals and couples using techniques ranging from Counselling, Neuro Linguistic Programming to Journey Therapy. She supports clients in their personal growth in a supportive and professional environment.