5 Ways Being Vulnerable Can Make You Happier
Do you know that being vulnerable can make you happier? Allowing yourself to be vulnerable can yield amazing results so let’s take a look.
Do you know that some people have a phobia for vulnerability?
It’s a broad category full of smaller, labeled phobias like philophobia, or the fear of being loved. Then there’s pistanthrophobia, which is the fear of being hurt in a relationship.
All these fears lead to the common generalization that “vulnerable = bad.” The truth is far different than this widely held idea, though.
In reality, there are many ways that being vulnerable can actually make your life better.
Depending on your fear of vulnerability, it might take a little bit of time and many habit changes to understand this rationale. Use these five examples as a way for you to start seeing how vulnerable can equal happier.
1. You Accept Your Feelings
“Feelings” are a touchy subject for a lot of people. It’s okay for others to have emotions, but they feel like it makes them weak if they do themselves.
Another common reaction to feelings is to shove them under the carpet. There’s too much to do, and you don’t have time to deal with emotions right now. But the right time seems never to come, and those feelings are still piling up.
If people around you tell you to “shake it off” and keep going, they mean well. However, that’s not a healthy approach, either.
There’s a reason you feel the way you do, and your thoughts and emotions are legitimate. You deserve to hear and process your feelings, especially if they make you vulnerable.
What’s the reason behind your vulnerability?
By sitting without distractions and focusing on the situation, you can often trace the problem back to its roots. There, it’s possible to see if you’re overthinking things or there’s truth to your instincts.
Acknowledging your emotions is the initial step towards a resolution. By embracing your vulnerability, you begin to accept all your feelings as valid.
Once you know the reason behind your feelings, you can use the tools you have to move forward. Instead of fighting your emotions, you learn how to handle them and become stronger.
2. Others Feel More Comfortable With You
Have you ever known that person who always seems to have a good, or at least neutral, day?
It’s hard to be open with your feelings when you think the other person is living with perfect emotions. You wonder what you’re doing wrong and why you can’t have things easy like them!
The truth is that everyone has problems. Some folks are just better at compartmentalizing and hiding them than others.
No one wants to be around a complainer. But there’s a massive difference between constant negativity and sharing immense struggles.
To do so with the right person is opening yourself up for encouragement. Even better, it’s letting them know you’re not perfect, either. And they may use your example as a model on which to pattern their behaviors.
When you allow others to see your vulnerability, they see you as human and relatable. They may start to open up more around you, building a relationship that makes you both happier.
3. You Start to Catch Your Self-Tricks
We are our own worst enemy most of the time because we know ourselves too well. Have you noticed it’s often easy to talk yourself into something you know you’re not supposed to do?
Chances are, you’re indulging yourself because you’d rather not deal with your emotions at the time. You’re trying to avoid your feelings.
What most of us do when we’re feeling vulnerable is to hide behind an avoidance behavior. Excessive work, sleeping, and binge-watching TV shows are all tactics we use. They help us ignore the deeper emotions going on.
Being vulnerable and accepting that part of you helps you to catch yourself on these self-tricks. You start to recognize the signs of avoidance.
Even if you indulge anyway, you won’t enjoy it as much because you caught on to your own avoidance tactics. Go ahead and work through whatever is going on so you can get back to living your best life!
4. You Stop Destructive Behaviors
Avoidance tactics are one thing; destructive behaviors are an entirely different league.
Many addicts avoid feeling vulnerable about something harmful. Self-destructive behaviors often hold root in fear of being hurt or hurting others.
These behaviors aren’t always recognizable by the person engaging in them. They can be intentional, but they may be subconsciously acting out.
When the pain is too intense for too long, self-destruction becomes a coping mechanism. To break the habit, a person must begin to acknowledge the reasons behind their behavior. Of course, this requires becoming vulnerable.
Vulnerability often comes hand-in-hand with pain for a little while. Yet, it’s healthier than being self-destructive. Learning better coping strategies gives you the tools you need to process your emotions.
Once you work through the cause of complicated feelings, you’ll be happier in the long-term.
5. You’re Okay With Imperfection
No one is perfect. Considering yourself a perfectionist mounts an unachievable goal onto your shoulders.
Instead of titling yourself something non-existent, switch the label to “recovering perfectionist.” That way, when you make a mistake, you won’t be so hard on yourself. You can acknowledge the error and learn from it, letting yourself be vulnerable to the consequences simultaneously.
The more you realize it’s okay to be vulnerable, the more you accept yourself and all your mistakes. This, in turn, expands to others.
You see that everyone is human, and as such, they all mess up, too. As you do, you’ll develop boundaries that help you accept their mistakes without letting them impact your life in unhealthy ways.
From there, those boundaries will improve your entire approach to each day. A happier lifestyle occurs almost immediately once you accept that imperfection is normal.
It’s totally understandable that you don’t want to show your feelings. Today’s world can make it seem like exposing vulnerability is setting yourself up for pain.
But in reality, we need more people like you to be willing to accept their feelings and share them with others. By opening yourself up to vulnerability, you’ll be happier. And that happiness will spread in ways you couldn’t have imagined!
About the Author
Caitlin Sinclair is the Property Manager at Broadstone 25 One 20 with 5 years of property management experience and many more in Customer Service. She shares her passion for her community and looks forward to making Broadstone 25 One 20 the place to call home.