Choosing Love Is an Inside Job


Making the choice for Love is not a response to our environment. Choosing Love is an act of creation, joining together with the Creative Force of the Universe to flow Love into the world. Practicing Love first requires that we separate ourselves from the everyday world in order to learn the vibration of the Love that brought us into being. In this act, we do not respond to the world around us; we shut down the constant sensory input that keeps our mind distracted from the channel of Love that reaches everywhere and comes from everywhere. The work is to keep ourselves tuned to the frequency of the Love that created the universe, pure Consciousness.

As we grow in our ability to hold that frequency, tuning out the noise of the world becomes easier and easier. As our individual practice deepens, we develop the capacity to hold the frequency of Love in the world for longer periods of time and in more challenging settings. The ultimate goal is to extinguish our human response to the events of the world and make universal our ability to hold the vibration of the Love that created the universe in every situation we encounter.

Early stages of choosing love

In the early stages of Choosing Love, almost any disruption in the setting can create a distraction that takes us out of the channel of Love and back into our mind to process the events around us, our mind working overtime to keep us safe. In these early stages, the importance of creating conditions for safety for each other is vital to the work. Stepping away from technology, minimizing distractions, making the setting cozy and relaxing, all encourage our mind to relax and reduce the hypervigilance of living many of us have been trained to maintain.

Once we enter the quiet oasis from everyday life, we taste the sweetness of our own heart space, a place of unconditional love, safety, potential and rest. Early on, because we are unpracticed with being in this space, any intrusion into the space can reactivate our mind and its job of keeping us safe. Our mind creates imaginary things from which to keep us safe: scanning the past, present and future to identify and latch onto any possible threats to our being, like an antibody moving through the bloodstream to find a threat to the functioning of our physical body.

Growing Stronger

As we develop the capacity and skill of holding center in the channel of Love, our individual practice becomes stronger and more rewarding. We recognize the restorative power of time away from the everyday world, feeling the rejuvenation of drinking regularly from the deep, pure spring of life called Love. We feed and fuel our being with the source and essence of our being. We experience inspiration—infusing spirit into our being. This beginning step is the cave of our creation—our rebirth into a spiritual being having a human experience. Consciousness rises, mind recedes. We come to know the source of our being again. Resurrection.

Just as a newborn human is not capable of fending for himself or herself in the world we have created, a newborn spiritual person resurrected from his or her human form is often not capable of fending for himself or herself as a spiritual person in the world we have created. It is easy to lose center, to entrain down to the vibration of the shadow world, the world that has forgotten its Source. Regular practice of setting ourselves apart from the everyday world both feeds our newborn spiritual person and strengthens our ability to hold center while engaging the vibration of the shadow world. As we grow into our spiritual presence in the shadow world, we find ourselves able to hold the vibration of Love in more settings. The first and easiest settings are the ones that do not hold a trigger of an emotional wound for us. An emotional wound comes from over-identifying with our physical being during the time we were sleep-walking in the shadow world. These wounds are harder to heal than physical wounds because they are invisible to the physical eye and we have been trained by the dominator consciousness to ignore them even when we recognize them with our heart’s eyes.

Engage the World with Love

As we engage the world with Love, when we lose our center, we can retreat to the safe space to regain our center and clean out the emotional wound, allowing it to heal with the salve of Love, the one and only healing force in the universe. Each cycle of retreat and going out strengthens us as conscious conduits of Love, healing within and healing without. We begin to hold center in more and more circumstances, for longer and longer periods of time, until we arrive home—manifesting the Love that we were created to be in every time and space. Being Love. Holding the center of Love radiating out into the shadow world until a full transformation of human consciousness to become the Love we are. A full and complete expression of our creator. Homo sapiens into homo luminous. The light of the creative force of the universe shining through us without restriction or distortion—full force and full spectrum. Illuminating first ourselves. Illuminating then all around us. Illuminating then all of creation.

About the Author

choosing love

Thomas Capshew, Ph.D. is a spiritual mentor, psychotherapist, and author. This article is an excerpt from “Consciousness Rising,” his second book recently published by Balboa Press. He lives in Fredericksburg, Virginia, where he works with individuals, couples, and families in his private practice. His private spirituality practice is available in-person and online. For a free “Choose Love” meditation mp3 and to join his mailing list, visit




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