How to Get Over A Break-Up Like A Champ
Break-ups are tough. When you build a relationship with someone, they become so integrated into your day-to-day life, when they are no longer there, it feels like a part of you is missing. I get it. Breakups suck. I’ve had my fair share of breakups or relationships that faltered and ended. However, after each breakup, it got a little bit easier and easier to move on. Don’t get me wrong, it was not easy to move on. I just became more familiar with how to cope with a breakup. I have to add, I am no relationship expert. I am just a guy that has been through some tough breakups, felt the agony, recovered and moved on. Here are some of my tips to get over a break-up like a champ.
Step 1: Remove Anything that Reminds You of Them. Period.
Going through a break up is hard enough. When you have all these old photos, objects, and gifts that remind you of your last partner, it will be more challenging to move on.
The first step is to clear your day-to-day environment of anything that reminds you of your ex. I know it will be hard to let these things go. Maybe because part of you may feel like you two will get back together, you like the pictures or memories, the things mean a lot to you, etc. However, if you are truly committed to moving on, get rid of them. Now.
Also, constantly seeing your past partner’s life through social media will remind you of them as well. Do yourself a favor and delete or unfollow them from your social media. On Facebook, you can unsubscribe from their Facebook updates so you can still remain “friends” but you will not see any of their posts.
After some of my breakups, I would usually keep my partner on my social media and I would always check to see if they watched my Instagram and Snapchat stories. I would go out drinking or hang out with friends and I would make sure that I posted on social media. In retrospect, I was really hurt and it was my way of showing them that I was doing well without them.
Doing this showed how invested I still was with them. To truly move on with your life, you have to stop thinking about them all of the time. Hide all the stuff in a box or closet so you don’t have to see them every day. I knew I was finally over my past partner when I threw away all of those belongings that reminded me of them. I kept some pictures, not because I wanted to see them, but because I wanted to remember who I was at that time of my life.
Step 2: Let Yourself Be Sad
One of the biggest mistakes you can make when trying to get over a break-up with your ex-partner is to not let yourself be sad. You will harbor a lot of repressed emotions that can weigh on you. You could hear all the breakup advice in the world on how to quickly get over your ex, but you really need to let yourself be sad. Sulk in it. Letting yourself feel the raw emotions will expedite the healing. Trust me. It will suck but it’s for the better.
After a breakup, I would tell people I was okay but deep down inside, I was not. What do you know? The old relationship affected me a lot longer than I would like to admit. Let yourself be sad. The reason why you are sad is because that person meant a lot to you and they were a big part of your life. If you feel nothing and can move on instantly, that may mean you were not truly invested in the relationship in the first place.
Also, take your time about getting into your next relationship. Be cognizant that if you jump into a new relationship fresh from a breakup, you could see your new partner in a distorted way. You have to realize that you might not like your new partner as much as you think you do because you are trying to fill an empty void in your life.
You are probably hurting…It is okay for life to suck sometimes. Let yourself mourn the loss of the relationship. Be grateful for the experience. Remember the good times, but more importantly, remember the bad times too. After a breakup, people have the tendency to remember only the good things from their past relationship. Your mind can trick itself into seeing the other person as some perfect angel that was your soul mate. If that was so, you would probably not be broken up right now. Whether it be personality incompatibilities or being with each other at the wrong time, they were not good for you.
Step 3: Take Care Of Yourself
One of the best things that you can do for yourself to get over a break-up is to take care of yourself better. Eat the right foods, maintain an exercise routine, smile and meet new people.
This time alone is the perfect time to reinvent yourself. This includes immersing yourself in new hobbies, friends, and activities. Keep yourself busy by taking the time to see what you like to do. Go join some clubs. Maybe try out a new sport. Start cooking homecooked meals with friends every week. Hit some old friends to catch up over lunch. Be positive, have some fun and take care of yourself!
One of the biggest mistakes you can make when doing this, however, is to do these things to spite your past partner.
“I’ll show them!! They will regret not being with me!”
Stop. Sure it will feel good in the short-term to think this way but if your only motivation to exercise, take care of yourself and discover hobbies is to try to make your past partner regret not being with you… you are still highly invested in their opinion of you and it will be harder to move on. Stop thinking about them. Take care of yourself for you. You might just realize in the process of building a new busy life for yourself that…life goes on.
Time to Get Moving!
Here are my tips to get over a break-up like a champ. Heed what I say and you might find that overcoming your breakup will be a little bit easier. That means go put away the ice cream bucket. Get out of bed. Go change out of your pajamas…and start the process of moving on. It is tough, but you will be okay and you will meet someone else eventually.
I promise 🙂