Self-Love Practices That Help You Heal from a Destructive Divorce

You’ve gone through a divorce, and it’s natural that you are feeling sad, disappointed, betrayed, or even hopeless. These are the times when everything you hoped for and believed in becomes lost. You don’t know what to do and what the future holds.

What really matters now is to start taking care of yourself. It may not be exactly what you want to do, but it’s an essential step for your healing after divorce.

How to Heal from Divorce

Divorce affects you. It’s one of the most stressful things you can go through. Luckily, with these few tips, you can minimize the damage and learn how to heal from divorce:


Self-respect is a rather difficult trade, but once you make that decision, you will grow by leaps and bounds. Accept yourself no matter, whether you are having a good day or not, even when you don’t act like a saint, or you don’t feel great.


During a divorce, read everything about separation, divorce, midlife crisis, infidelity, and more. You need to know you are not alone. Reading the stories of others who have had similar experiences provides camaraderie and strength.  

Find your support system

Find out who your real friends are and lean on them. Do you have a family you can trust? If so, turn to them. Your very best friends can listen to you, cry with you, and provide unconditional love and support.

Talk, talk, talk

Once you know who you can trust, talk to them about your feelings. Be honest about your hurts and ask for help. Repeating your story will help you in healing. Speaking out loud about what you’ve been through can help you acknowledge and accept your new reality.

Ask for and accept help

Identify what kind of help you need and ask for it. When folks offer help that you didn’t seek, consider whether it may be useful to accept and say yes when you can. Don’t let pride prevent you from accepting help and support. Sometimes, it’s not about you. Some folks wish to help you because they would like to be given such help when they needed it.


Stop what you’re doing and take in deep, deep breaths every single day. Breathe air deeply into your lungs and let it out slowly again and again. Accept the reality of your situation and know that you have everything in order to survive it.

Be as strong as you can and let others help you to be strong when you can’t do it yourself.

Divorce and Self Esteem

Often, divorce and self-esteem are a huge problem. Because, when things in your life fall apart it’s natural to feel as if it might be your fault, to feel as if there’s something wrong with you, to feel as if you’re not lovable. But just because these may be natural emotions doesn’t mean they’re the emotions that are serving you. In fact, these emotions are sabotaging your chance at happiness.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

Here are a few tips to help you not to lose self-esteem when you go through a potentially difficult path:

  1. Stop thinking of divorce as a failure.

Think of divorce as a transition to the next phase of your life – one to which you’ll bring the benefit of your experience.

  1. Don’t let emotions drive your behavior.

Don’t act on feelings that may be temporary. Instead, act according to your values and your own long-term goals.

  1. Don’t assume your children are irreparably damaged.

Research indicates that living with frequent parental conflict is damaging to children. But remember: the way you divorce can have even greater impact on them than the fact of your divorce.

  1. Go in for sports.

Exercises trigger good feelings. A fitness regimen or a new goal such as a half-marathon will boost your mood and increase your self-esteem.

  1. Thinking positively.

Replace your negative inner dialogue of words such as “I can’t do it” with self-esteem building statements like “Yes, I can”. If you make similar affirmations every morning to yourself, your mind will start to focus on them and believe them to be true.

Like any life process, divorce has a beginning and an end. The end of the divorce process generally involves learning from the past, taking a forward-looking, adapting to changing circumstances and doing what you can in order to reinvent and recreate your own life.

About the Author

Helen Rogers is an editor of Her main writing topic is love and she is very passionate about relationships. She tries to possess the right amount of professionalism and versatility to be your psychological assistant. Her motto is “Communication is one of the key skills for every person”.

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