7 Steps to Speaking Your Truth
Are you dedicated to speaking your truth? Most of us believe we do. As you read this article you may see more clearly who’s truth you are speaking.
When I first started as a Meditation Teacher, I was petrified of expressing my true thoughts. I was constantly worried that people would misunderstand what I wanted to say. In the beginning, I couched my words. I diluted my truth so it sounded more acceptable. I quietly censored myself. This self-editing process went into all my work including my articles, videos and trainings.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I held onto the belief that no one would like what I really had to say.
I was petrified of the truth. I felt it would bring something bad to me. Some kind of horrible harm.
In the past, I had gotten bad backlash for speaking the truth. This was especially true in my past life, where in business meetings, I tended to call out what I saw as B.S.
Now in a spiritual context, whenever the occasion rose to express myself, I froze. Like a deer in headlights, I became paralyzed with an unreasonable, formidable fear.
When I took time to sit with it in meditation, it took me years to fully understand how intense this fear was for me and why it was there. It was clear that the fear of speaking the truth was holding me back.
I wanted to express my ideas, but I literally felt a chokehold around my neck, a heavy, invisible force that seemed to arise out of nowhere. And it had a deep, invisible power over me.
When I sat deeply with this fear, I realized one of the core beliefs that kept me straight-jacketed was: “if I speak the truth, I’ll die.”
Of course, my logical conscious mind knew this was not the case. It wasn’t reality, but this was the level of fear I felt. The fear of persecution felt like a real, bad thing that could happen at any moment’s notice. If I said the wrong thing, or pissed someone off, it seemed feasible that my life could be in question.
Unreasonable, I know.
I knew I had to face this belief head on if I wanted to move forward in teaching and sharing. In teaching, I discovered how many people, especially women, felt a huge ungrounded fear of speaking the truth.
Perhaps as a child you grew up in an environment where speaking the truth was a big no-no. You might have been encouraged to say things that pleased your elders, or even lived in denial, so that you could be accepted into your family dynamic.
If you grew up in a household where you didn’t feel free to express your emotions and mind, you may still be bearing the weight of trying to hold it all in.
The more you try to repress your true feelings and thoughts, the more they get pushed down and bottled up. We hold this suppression in our body and being. It feels limiting. It can make us feel small and even invisible. And yet it’s possible to liberate ourselves from this..
There are many of us who have this fear of saying how we feel or expressing what we know to be true. We don’t trust ourselves. As a result, we may not trust others. We may not feel as if other people hear us or that other people will meet us halfway.
If you feel like this, there are some things you can do to start changing so you can find and speak your truth with confidence.
Seven Steps to Finding and Speaking Your Truth
- Know what’s true for you and be willing to admit the truth to yourself.
- Contemplate what keeps you from speaking the truth.
- Engage in self-healing and inner work.
- Practice speaking your truth.
- Be prepared.
- Notice how it feels to speak your truth.
- Practice living and speaking your truth and be committed to this process.
The first step to speaking your truth involves knowing what’s true for you. This involves admitting the truth to yourself.
While this may sound simple, it can actually be quite a process to find your own truth. When you’re not in connection with what is really true for you, you are, in essence, dancing around the issue.
This is the same as pretending you don’t see the giant pink elephant in the corner of the room. This might pertain to relationship issues or other issues where you’re not willing to get to the core of the issue.
It’s so important to start this process and to go deep into what you hold as true. When you start getting in touch with what you know to be true, you can feel it.
Your body will always tell you what’s true. Your body has intelligence. When you feel yourself shutting down or clamping down or getting tense that is essentially your body talking to you.
Three really good ways to start getting in touch with yourself are through meditation, prayer, and journaling, or writing about how you feel and why.
This involves getting in touch with your true feelings and not letting the mind constantly get in the way. It’s about expressing yourself and your true feelings and not negating or judging yourself for doing so.
The second step is to contemplate what keeps you from speaking the truth.
This is a great reason to engage in journaling or writing. If you are afraid to speak the truth, you may have better luck writing the truth down. As you do this, think about why you may be afraid to speak your truth or if something happened in your past that caused this.
You might also want to think back to your childhood and look back at those old memories for any incidents that may feed this tendency. Perhaps you were punished for being honest or afraid for some reason that you would look stupid or silly.
There is a certain magic that happens when you write something down. You diffuse the power and the hold that something has over you by doing this.
Once you start writing things down you unearth those unconscious fears that hold you back. As a result, they lose their power over you.
The third step is about being engaged in self-healing and doing that inner work.
A great way to self-heal is through self-love and acceptance. As you start connecting with your truth, you start speaking to yourself in a more encouraging way. You start being kinder to yourself.
You start loving yourself more, even if you start feeling afraid or start to shut down. Many times if we’re afraid to speak our truth there may be a block in our physical body.
Usually, it starts in the solar plexus, or in the heart and the throat, and it may even go up into the neck and into the jaw area.
If you feel tight or drawn or feel like something is pulling you down, you know your energy isn’t flowing.
As you practice self-healing, there are some things you can do as you’re meditating or falling asleep.
Try placing one hand on the neck area near the sternum (the long flat bone located at the central part of the chest) and the other hand near the solar plexus.
Next, send some energy and some love to those areas and imagine that there is a natural flow that begins to emerge. As you practice this, you will notice your energy loosening up all by itself. This is a great practice to engage in if you feel tight in your centerline.
The fourth step is all about practicing speaking your truth.
In the beginning, you may feel safer talking about safer topics. One good tip is to start by practicing being really honest about topics that aren’t as emotionally charged as say religion or politics might be.
You can do this in everyday conversations as well, or any time someone asks you how you are. Instead of the standard reply, “I’m fine,” try replying how you really feel instead.
You can do this in small increments as you start out. You can also practice this on social media and in other places you might comment. Try speaking from the heart and speaking your truth as you do this. You can also journal about how you feel.
You can work your way up to speaking your truth in other ways like around your close friends and family.
The fifth step is to be prepared.
When you start really speaking your truth and being more of yourself, you might get some kind of pushback. You might also trigger people, or make people angry, so be prepared for that.
They might also reject you, judge you or make you feel bad so just keep that in mind and stay strong. You have a right to speak your truth.
If you speak your truth and someone takes it offensively, that’s really on them. It’s not always about you.
In other words, you have to let them own that experience. You have no control over their consciousness and how they’re going to respond and how they’re going to take it.
However, there are basic guidelines like asking yourself if it’s true, if it’s fair or if it’s honoring. As you do this more and more, it’s also important to speak from your center and to learn how to ground yourself.
Think of how the roots of a tree are designed. They go way into the ground underneath the surface. They are solid, broad and unmovable.
As you learn to speak your truth, try and ground and center yourself in the same way before you speak because you may get pushback.
If that happens, don’t take it personally. It’s not yours to take on, and it’s not yours to absorb. You have to let people have their own experience.
The sixth step is to notice how it feels to speak your truth.
As you speak your truth, really pay attention to how it makes you feel on the inside. How does it feel to really get in touch with yourself?
It could feel shaky at first or emotionally freeing or expansive. Just be aware of that and do your best not to take on the projections of anyone else. Let any stray comments roll off your back like water rolls off a duck’s back.
A lot of times people who are afraid to speak the truth are often very sensitive. Empathic people fall into this category. Sensitive or empathic people often feel other people’s feelings and emotions even more than their own.
This can be challenging if you’re the type of person who absorbs other people’s energy.
If you’re constantly thinking about other people and putting yourself outside of yourself, then you’re constantly abandoning yourself as a result. You may even be betraying yourself.
In doing so, you are also dishonoring yourself and making yourself feel small. The truth is, soft, sensitive people need to be speaking their truth more.
As you practice this, take some time to notice what it feels like to be more of yourself and what it feels like to freely express yourself.
The seventh step is to practice living and speaking your truth and to be committed to this process.
Truth is like a vibration. It’s energy. The more time you spend being connected to this empowered energy, the better you will feel and the more you will get it.
There’s an old sutra in the ancient texts that talks about the yogi who always speaks the truth. Loosely translated, what the yogi says will happen in the future, will happen.
What this really means is that if you’re aligned to the truth, everything you do and say actually becomes your truth.
This is a great reason to stay committed to that path of truth and to know that what you are doing doesn’t go against anyone.
There is no judgment except for when you judge yourself. Every time you choose to share and express who you are, you speak your truth. You create that permission for all of us. You add to the collective consciousness, and you put that energy into the whole and that’s what we need more of.
About the Author
Sura is a highly experienced Meditation Coach and Trainer, and is passionate about helping people tap into their joy through the practice of meditation. She first discovered meditation when she was in severe pain while working on Wall Street. After receiving profound healing benefits from her sitting practice, she left New York to study meditation in Asia and has been teaching meditation ever since.
Sura currently offers online trainings for leadership teams and coaches. She offers a certified Meditation Coach training LIBERATE based on her approach, Flow meditation, which integrates meditation, energy cultivation and healing. Her work can be seen on Huffington Post, Daily Om, and other major publications. Learn more about Sura and her work at SuraFlow.Org where you can receive a free meditation toolkit and begin a practice of daily calm.