6 Tips for Women Dating After a Divorce in Their 30s
Dating can be complicated, especially dating after a divorce. While you want to get back out there, you’re still worried because the last thing you want is more stress. With our few simple tricks and tips, it can be easier for women in their 30s to start dating again after the divorce. Read on to see what you can do to simplify dating.
Tips for Dating After a Divorce
1. Focus on yourself
Dating is about meeting other people and trying to have fun along the way, but it’s not an excuse to lose ourselves in the process. As a woman who just got divorced, you need to reconnect with yourself. In marriage, we tend to put our needs aside and low self-esteem usually comes as a result. Focus on yourself, work to improve confidence and self-esteem, do the things you love.
It’s simple; when you boost self-esteem and know your worth you will be attracted to people who acknowledge that as well. In other words, you’ll want to date people who will bring out the best in you.
2. Don’t criticize yourself too much
After the divorce, the confidence is shaken up and it may propel you to criticize everything you do. That’s not such a surprise if we bear in mind that most women blame themselves for divorce and are convinced, they can’t find that soul mate. Stay away from these negative thoughts.
You’re in the 30s and the whole life is ahead of you. There’s still a lot more to come only when you stop criticizing yourself too much. Instead, embrace yourself in every way possible. Embrace your good sides and “bad” sides, happiness, sadness, and everything else.
Don’t feel guilty for going out and having fun, instead embrace it! Be compassionate with yourself and other people. Once you start embracing yourself, a lot of new opportunities will come your way. You’ll find the happiness that you truly deserve.
Now is the perfect time to explore your interests whether they include marijuana cleanse options, fun activities, or anything else you’d enjoy. Allow yourself to read, explore, and accept everything about you. Once you do that, you’ll be more open to dating and won’t assume nobody will like you for who you are, because they will.
3. Don’t overdo it
Every divorce is emotional and stressful and we cope with it in different ways. Not every woman is the same so their coping mechanisms vary as well. Overdoing dating after a divorce is a common coping mechanism, but make sure to avoid it.
Doing too much drives you away from your goals and adds more stress to the dating life. The last thing you want or need right now is even more stress and frustration. How to know whether you’re overdoing it? Some common behaviors include having sex with someone too soon hoping to rush the relationship along, introducing someone to kids way too early, coming on to every guy or girl you’re attracted to, among others.
All these above-mentioned examples can interfere with your goal of finding the right person. The reason is simple, overdoing it and feeling like you have to work hard on a relationship or become someone you’re not are clear signs that’s just not the right guy or girl.
Instead, take it easy, enjoy your dating life, and don’t rush anything. You’ll feel calmer and stress-free.
4. Communication is better than games
Entering the dating scene in the 30s is a good thing. You’re more mature now and know exactly what you want or don’t. When we’re young and immature, we tend to play games and avoid communication. It’s easier to assume someone should just read our mind so we don’t have to address some subjects on our own.
Now that you’re mature, you realize communication is essential. This is an important dating tip because we often tend to overlook the power of communication. Although we want to talk things out the other person may not be like that. You shouldn’t settle for that! Be open and honest and make it clear from dating partner you expect the same.
Only through healthy communication will you determine who the right person for you is. It’s someone who will be as open with you as you are with them. Communication builds trust and takes away stress.
5. Don’t drag baggage to your date
Divorce can be tough, especially when kids are involved. It’ constantly on your mind and you may want to talk about it all the time. Talk it out with your friends, but avoid dragging that baggage to your date.
Talking about divorce on your date puts too much pressure on the person who’s sitting across the table. It also adds more stress on both of you and shows you have baggage that you’d probably carry into the relationship.
Stick to more relaxed subjects and don’t drag divorce to your date night. Try to have fun instead, you deserve it.
6. Be open-minded
This is the perfect time for you to experience new things and have the best time of your life. Be open-minded when dating, try not to date the same type of people all the time. Sometimes we stick to the “type” and completely overlook all the wonderful people that are outside of the comfort zone. Get to know others and don’t close the door on someone just because that person isn’t the type of man or woman you’d usually date.
Now that you know how to make dating after a divorce in your 30s easier, you’re ready to have some fun. Remember, reconnect with yourself, do the things you love, and be open-minded. You’ll do great. Good luck.
About the Author
Deanna Minich is a functional medicine-trained clinician and researcher. She has an experience in medicine and willing to write and help people, also she is a part and a volunteer at Marijuana Detox. Deanna is passionate about researching medical models to clinical medicine that combines physiology and psychology. You may find her publications in new editions of Global Advances in Health and Medicine (journal).