Dependence is More Than an Undergarment for Adults…
Dependence from the beginning
Years will pass before we learn sufficient motor control of our limbs. Baby horses will be walking within hours, but human infants may take a year or more to figure out balance and mobility, happily shitting their pants in the meantime, whenever the urge arises.
Trial and error will slowly teach us how to express our thoughts through sounds and scribbles, and eventually we’ll learn to feed and care for our own bodies. Decades may slip by before we’re ready to leave the nest, but one day a decision will get made to depart the roost for good, with hopes of soaring to new heights, yet to be imagined.
Because of this inglorious and helpless dependence at our beginning we all endured, there’s no possible way some concept of dependency failed to influence our formative years — the years which cement beliefs and behaviors many of us will adopt unwaveringly for the entirety of our adult lives.
Some will explore the concept through wild rebellion — from their first emphatic, “No!” screamed at Mommy, to unruly hairstyles, heavy pot-smoking, and the occasional B&E, just for kicks. (I don’t know anyone like that, I swear)
Others will live happily following the the herd, comforted by the security of like-minded thinkers, and the surrogate parenting of a “concerned” government.
Some will justify failure or addiction as rooted in a disadvantaged upbringing, and others will use those same disadvantages to motivate the realization of an office floating high in a financially abundant stratosphere.
But each and every one of these scenarios is based upon a fundamental truth — none of us could have existed in this world without the support of other humans.
Even if you were raised by wolves, a female still carried you for nine months, and allowed you access into this realm to breathe life. Whatever her issues for abandoning you may have been, you would not have existed without her dedication to see your lifeform reach its completion.
We have been, are, and ever will be, interdependent when it comes to living, thriving, and surviving on this planet.
This is not a thing to take lightly.
Even your smallest actions toward your fellow man, woman, or child will reverberate ceaselessly like ripples in a pond, interacting with other energies in unpredictable ways, affecting future choices of others, which will ultimately influence yours again. Separation is a fallacy.
When we choose to live on autopilot — playing our self-absorbed games to further our lots in life — without concern of how our actions affect others, we remain ignorant of the most important factor that can shift our chaotic world back to one of harmony.
When we become fully present to witness how our simplest of choices affect the lives of those around us… when we make the wacky consideration that our species might be a unified organism, interacting with millions of other non-humanoids seeking the same basic harmonies and balances in life we do… when we drop our dogmas and rigid belief systems that keep us arguing incessantly amongst one another — despite the fact we’re all fixated upon the identical goal of achieving happiness — we begin to find traction to effect positive change.
I just returned from a 2-month tour of Central America, visiting Belize, Guatemala, and Mexico. Motivation for travel came down to a couple things — escaping the winter climate in Canada, and expanding my understanding of self.
What did I learn? Far more than I could possibly share in this short post. The journal I kept of the experience may be worthy of a novella somewhere down the road, but there are 3 main insights I’d like to share with you today…
1. People are Awesome, Everywhere
Even with a pathetic working knowledge of the Spanish language, my respectful efforts to integrate into a culture foreign to me provided the opportunity to meet some of the most helpful and caring humans I’ve ever encountered.
I spent most of my time avoiding tourist areas, choosing to interact with people in the smallest towns I could find, to discover each human had the same basic traits in common — the need to make a buck or two to survive, an overflowing love for family and friends, and a desire to smile, love life, and have fun. Hmm, go figure…
2. Fear is a Shackle
If you want to stay stuck in a rut, let fear be your guide. If you want to explore the unknown, evolve your being in leaps and bounds, or simply find out what mystery-meat a taco vendor is selling, fear needs to get relegated to the BlueBin. With enough practice, it stops becoming an issue, replaced by a confident boldness when stepping beyond comfort zones.
The role of fear has been twisted in modern society. Its rightful place exists when the common sense of self-preservation is in question. It should never influence your decision to try a new restaurant or ask a girl out on a date. Fear in those circumstances does not protect us from harm, it prevents us from living.
3. Influences Exist Beyond the Physical Plane
I have no desire to drag anyone into a God debate here, but I definitely need to share with you something I experienced beyond the Newtonian-physics, hard-core skeptical mindset that dominated most of my life living in Western culture.
My Adventure Blog probably logged some 20,000-plus words during my travels, but an unexpected theme kept recurring — almost on a daily basis. It got to the point I needed a name for the phenomena. This insight occurred while traveling day-to-day, with no plans, and no desire to formulate an agenda beyond 5 hours into the future.
I have no clue who coined the phrase “God takes care of children and fools,” but experience has convinced my immature and moronic self this sentiment is accurate. Some might call it dumb luck or random chance, but I prefer labeling my unconventional protector the Divine Tour Guide. Whenever forks in the road were reached on my travels, whenever options seemed hopelessly limited, or whenever I was lost, alone, and unable to resolve a situation with my sad language skills — abilities akin to a two-word, grunting Spanish Hulk — DTG stepped in to save my ass. Without fail. Love that entity!
It got to the point that when I was staying in a hostel, and someone had an issue that needed resolving, I simply suggested they hang out with me for a couple hours to find guidance, as my Divine Tour Guide would provide an answer before long. And DTG always did.
I have no desire to convince you of guardian angels or spirit guides, but I experienced enough first-hand “you-must-be-kidding-me” moments to consider that non-physical forces are definitely at play in our Universe, taking dependence and interdependence to an entirely new level.
Quick side note: DTG was not a puppet-master. Free will was always on the menu. It was still up to me to make a choice whenever a new opportunity arose, no matter how impossibly and conveniently timed the suggestion fell into my lap.
When it comes to awareness, when it comes to contemplating our dependence or independence relating to our brethren wandering this floating rock in space, or whether it comes down to making even the simplest of decisions in life, I think the best way to end this piece is with a quote from Carlos Castaneda:
“Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good; if it doesn’t, it’s of no use. One makes for a joyful journey, the other makes you curse your life. One makes you strong, the other weakens you.”
We’re in this game together, my friends, no question. We might as well accept our dependence on others.
Follow the path that makes your heart sing, and you might just realize the people following behind you are whistling the same tune.