How Does Sacrifice for Love Help the Relationship?
When we hear the word ‘sacrifice’ in a conversation about relationships, we may view this as a negative quality. This is because sacrifice often implies that we are giving something up that we really care about. But, is this really the case? Should you sacrifice for love?
Making sacrifices in a relationship doesn’t mean giving away your first-born child or giving up your favorite hobby. In fact, making sacrifices can make us more generous and less self-centered. When made properly, healthy compromises can actually benefit our love life.
Are sacrifices healthy for a relationship or do they strip away your individuality and make a relationship miserable? We’re looking at some of those things you should and should not sacrifice for love.
1. Your Time
One of the biggest love tips about sacrifice is to be giving with your time. You may have a hectic schedule and between work, perhaps raising children, and other social engagements, at the end of the day you may want nothing more than to settle down on the couch and not think about anything else for the evening.
But, it’s important that you make time for your spouse.
Spending quality time together is how couples continue to get to know one another, connect, and maintain a happy home.
Many couples do this by way of a regular date night each week. Research done by the National Marriage Project found that “couples who engage in novel activities that are fun, active, or otherwise arousing—from hiking to dancing to travel to card games—enjoy higher levels of relationship quality.”
The study goes on to find that couples who have a regular date night together experience higher levels of eros, or a romantic love that is often linked to desire and sexual attraction.
Married couples who have a weekly date night are also less likely to get divorced, have improved communication, decreased stress, and reignite their commitment to one another.
As you can see, there are many benefits to spending quality time with your spouse.
Money isn’t the most romantic topic in the world, but spending, saving, communicating about, and giving it are all healthy sacrifices we make in relationships.
Studies suggest that finances are one of the biggest and most recurring arguments that many couples have, often because they do not know how to communicate openly about their financial situation or because they have different approaches to it. Perhaps one person is a spender and the other is a saver.
Regardless, couples must make sacrifices when it comes to money. They should meet in the middle and compromise on how finances should be handled.
It should also go without saying that if you’re trying to romance someone in your life, you will likely be spending money on them at some point. This may be something like taking them out for dinner, bringing them a surprise coffee at work, or grabbing them that perfect anniversary present.
3. Your Ego
It’s only natural that the younger we are, the more we think about ourselves. We are looking for our perfect careers, our great loves, and approach situations wondering what we might get out of them. But these behaviors don’t work so well when you’re in a healthy, long-term relationship.
4. Leave self-centered behavior in the past.
Now that you’re in a serious relationship, it’s time to start focusing on someone else. A relationship is about two people, not just ourselves. Therefore, we make sacrifices by doing things for others, even when we’re not crazy about doing them—dinner at the in-laws, anyone?
Showing humility and making the effort to think about someone else shows love and respect for one’s partner.
5. The Desire to Be Right
It’s so good to be right, but one of the most important love tips on our list is to sacrifice your desire to always be right.
We can all agree that couples often fight for the silliest reasons. For example, it can be so tempting to correct our partners when they get a teeny, tiny detail wrong in a story – “Actually that was on Monday, not Tuesday!”—but this behavior can be destructive.
The last thing you want in a healthy relationship is to make your partner feel stupid or hurt their feelings. So the next time you are about to make a fuss over something insignificant, ask yourself “Do I want to be happy or do I want to be right?” because sometimes you can’t have it both ways!
Learn to let the little things go and we can guarantee your relationship will be 100% happier.
Things You Should Never Sacrifice
Up until now, we’ve looked at love tips about healthy sacrifices, but there are certain things you would not want to give up on just for a romantic relationship.
Relationships with friends and family
Relationships outside of your romance are important. In fact, studies show that support from friends and family can lower stress and anxiety.
If your spouse is trying to make you give up time with your loved ones, this may be a sign of toxic and controlling behavior.
Your dreams. If you’ve always dreamed of being a veterinarian or writing a New York Time’s best seller, you should not give up on these goals just because you are in a relationship!
Do not change your personal beliefs and social views just to appease your spouse.
For example, if you are a religious or spiritual person, this should not be something you give up or hide for someone else. You should find someone who embraces your religion or customs. In fact, studies show that religious couples are generally happier than those without faith—and healthier, too!
Research indicates that those who practice religion often have lower alcohol and cigarette consumption than others. They also have lower suicide rates and anxiety levels than people who are not religious.
There is such a thing as positive sacrifices in relationships. Follow these love tips and give of your time, finances, ego, and personal desires. Doing so will create a healthy relationship. However, avoid altering your dreams, personal beliefs, or giving up hobbies and friendships all to please your spouse. This would be considered toxic behavior.
About the Author
The author is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. Her mission is to provide inspiration, support and empowerment to everyone on their journey to a great marriage. She is a featured writer for Marriage.com that supports healthy happy marriages.