Things to Do to Maintain the Fire in Your Marriage after the Kids Come
Kids are adorable. When they come into any household, everyone’s attention will be trained at taking care of them and making them happy. New parents usually experience a change in the balance of their relationship as they give each other less and less time and attention. Maintaining the fire in your marriage will need some attention.
If you don’t balance parenting with married life well, you may shortchange your relationship with your partner and grow apart with the passage of time. It is default human nature to avoid conflict. So, to avoid confronting reality as your relationship with your spouse takes a hit, you may throw yourself into spending more time with the baby as you seek to escape bringing up the fact that you are growing apart.
Maintaining the fire in your marriage after the kids come will take some work. Here are some useful tips you can put to use starting today.
Do Weekly Dates
You can’t be so busy that you can’t do a date together at least once a week. It doesn’t have to be a formal date in the evening at an upscale joint. Dinner is great but something as simple as a lunch out together can do.
The point of the whole exercise is to allow you some time where you can escape to a different environment and give each other time and attention. You can leave the baby with a relative or hire a sitter.
Go to a Beach Vacation
It is hard to go wrong with a romantic beach vacation for two. Once kids are in the picture, this may be hard to
accomplish. As a couple, you will find a relaxed way to get to spend a lot of quality time together and do some really cool stuff.
You can bring the kids along for the vacation and still have a lot of fun. If you do bring the kids along, stay at a resort for families. A good all-inclusive resort will have everything you need to make this trip a success.
Since they serve a lot of families with small children all year round, your kids will definitely have something fun to do during your stay. Moreover, the kids will also be able to play with their peers as a number of the families present will also be traveling with their small kids.
Appreciate Both Roles
Before you were a parent, you were your partner’s spouse. Your child coming into your life does not change the fundamental relationship you have with your partner. Appreciating that you can be an attentive spouse and parent at the same time will go a long way in alleviating any hang ups you might have about dividing your time between your partner and your child.
Take Care of Yourself
With all the pressure to take care of your kids and to meet the needs of your partner, you might forget to spare some time to pamper yourself. Your wellbeing is just as important as anyone’s in the household.
Spare some time every week to relax and rejuvenate. You will have far more energy to do what you need to do to build a happy and vibrant family when you take deliberate steps every week to ensure you aren’t constantly burnt out.
Surprises and Meaningful Gestures
Everyone loves a surprise gift or gesture every now and then. You probably already know your spouse well enough to know what they will appreciate in terms of a gift or meaningful gesture.
The idea of the whole exercise is to let them know that you appreciate them and that they were on your mind. This is a very accessible way to add some excitement into your relationshipquickly.
Bring Back Intimacy
At no time in your relationship should you let intimacy die. A lack of intimacy can lead to you growing apart very quickly and repairing the wounds to bring you closer together again will take a considerable amount of time.
It is healthy for your relationship that you continue to have sex regularly and not make the excuse of being tired from caring for the baby a consistent go-to excuse to cop out having sex with your partner.
Do Interesting Things Together
If you think you can’t find time to spend quality time with your partner because of parenting commitments, you are grossly mistaken. You can always make time for whatever you find important.
There are a lot of interesting things you can do with your partner even when the baby is around. Cooking and having dinner together, for instance, is a reliable way to consistently hang out as a family. Light exercises such as a walk in the evening with your partner while carrying or pushing the baby is also a great way to spend quality time with your partner.
Open the Lines of Communication
Communication is what holds relationships together. Make it clear in your relationship during this phase that you and your partner should be free to share what they think and feel. If you are a new parent, you may be overwhelmed by the influx of new responsibilities. It is important that you have someone that you can share your feelings with openly and without fear of judgment.
Keep these tips in mind if you and your significant other are having trouble keeping the romance in your relationship. Relationships are hard work, and sometimes there can be rough patches. With a little patience and effort, you will remember the reasons why you fell in love in the first place.
About the Author
Susan Ranford is an expert on career coaching, business advice, and workplace rights. She has written for New York Jobs, IAmWire, and ZipJob. In her blogging and writing, she seeks to shed light on issues related to employment, business, and finance to help others understand different industries and find the right job fit for them.