Treating Our Spouse The Way We Would Like To Be Treated

Often referred to as “The Golden Rule,” treating others like you want to be treated is a great reminder to be kind, understanding, respectful, and to go out of your way for others. This is a great guideline to live by, and you may strive to make others happy in this way, but do you apply this principle to how you treat your spouse?

Many relationship issues can be avoided by applying The Golden Rule. Not only is being kind to your partner a loving and considerate thing to do, but it can actually boost your own happiness!

Participants of a research study reported receiving .59 compassionate acts and giving .65 each day. This included such things as changing personal plans to accommodate their partner or brushing snow off their spouse’s car in the morning. The results showed increased relationship satisfaction for both partners. Surprisingly, the emotional benefits were 45% greater for the giver than the recipient.

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The lesson? Kindness in a marriage has big benefits for both spouses.

Here are 7 ways you can treat your spouse the way you want to be treated. 

  1. Greet Them

When was the last time your greeted your partner when they came home from work or asked how they slept? These are two kind gestures that are extremely simple to do.

If you had a bad day at work, how much better would you feel to have your spouse welcome you home with a big hug or if they asked how your day was? Similarly, waking up to a warm welcome from your spouse can be a great way to start the day.

These simple gestures go a long way toward showing your partner that you care how they feel. 

  1. Consult Your Partner

Show consideration for one another. You may be an adult who makes their own decisions, but that doesn’t mean you have to make them without consulting your spouse first. This isn’t a sign of being on a short leash with your partner, it’s a sign of kindness and consideration.

When partners check in with one another before making plans or big life decisions, they work in harmony together, remembering that their decisions don’t only affect one person. 

  1. Be Faithful

Healthy relationships are built on trust. If you expect your partner to be trusting and faithful, you must be faithful in return. Even if there is a temptation or there are relationship issues causing unhappiness in your marriage, be true to your spouse.

Physical and sexual affairs are obviously wrong, but be wary of other forms of infidelity that could hurt your partner. These might include an affair of the heart, becoming addicted to pornography, going into sex chats or cam rooms, or sexting someone else.

When you are faithful to your partner you show them dignity, respect, and honor your marriage vows to be true to one another. Also, when you stay faithful to your partner even under duress, you show that you value your marriage more than any selfish desires.

Instead of pursuing an emotional or physical affair, communicate with your partner about any troubled areas of your marriage that could use improvement. 

  1. Be Supportive

If you were striving toward a goal or going through a hard time, you would likely want your partner to be there as your cheerleader or your shoulder to lean on. Do you do the same for your partner when they need you?

You can show your partner support by encouraging them to reach their goals. This may mean some sacrifice on your end, perhaps allowing them to travel or spending less time together due to a busy work schedule. So long as their goals do not harm your marriage, it is in your best interest to give them your loving support. 

  1. Turn Your Phone Off

Do you love having your partner’s attention? The answer is likely a resounding yes. Having their undivided attention lets you know that they care about what you’re saying and enjoy spending time with you.

Now how would you feel if you were in the middle of a romantic evening or were trying to communicate about an issue and your partner began checking their text messages? Probably not good. You would feel like they didn’t care about what you were saying or that you weren’t important enough to devote their time to conversing with you.

Do not multi-task with your partner’s attention. Turn your phone off when you are trying to spend time with your spouse and they will return the favor.  

  1. Show Compassion and Empathy

If you were pouring your heart out to your spouse, you would likely want them to see things as you see them and have empathy for your situation.

You can do this even if you are arguing with your spouse. Learn to fight fair. Put yourselves in their shoes, striving to see things from their perspective. Use that compassion to find common ground together.

Similarly, when your partner is trying to talk to you about an issue going on in their life or at work, do not have a “that’s your problem” mentality. Instead, treat your partner the way you would like to be treated and foster healthy relationships by showing compassion and empathy.

7.  Be Forgiving

There are relationship issues in every marriage, but people make mistakes. If you messed up and offered your spouse your sincerest apology, you would want them to forgive you.

Similarly, if you did something irritating or hurtful to your spouse, how loving would it be for them to simply ‘let it go’ or to choose to look for the good in you?

Treat your spouse the way you would like to be treated by showing them forgiveness when they are truly sorry.

By learning how to treat your spouse the way you would like to be treated you are ensuring that both of you are giving and receiving love, compassion, respect, and consideration. When both partners put this “Golden Rule” into practice, they will be ensuring they will have healthy relationships now and in the future.

About the Author

Sylvia Smith is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. She has helped countless individuals and organizations around the world, offering effective and efficient solutions for healthy and successful relationships. Her mission is to provide inspiration, support and empowerment to everyone on their journey to a great marriage. She is a featured writer for, a reliable resource to support healthy happy marriages.

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