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How To Use Your Feelings For Building Self Confidence Levels - Self Improvement

How To Use Your Feelings For Building Self Confidence Levels

By Loren Luck

Your feeling affect literally everything you do in life, and everything that happens in your life – especially your self confidence and self esteem. You create feelings and emotions about everything that your senses pick up, and you create an immediate and automatic reaction to everything that happens to you.

When you taste something really bad, you immediately feel revulsion and try to get rid of the horrible taste as quickly as possible. When you slip on a wet or icy pavement, you immediately feel panic as you lose your footing and fear you might fall.

In every situation you encounter, your feelings are immediately brought into play and then determine how you react to everything that happens to you. Let’s quickly cover the different types and groups of feelings, because it’s important to recognise them so you know how to deal with them and manage them in a positive way.

The first group we’ll look at are commonly referred to in NLP and painful feelings.  Imagine you’re having a bath, you’ve been lead there relaxing for a while, and the water is getting a little cooler than you’d like, so you expertly twist the hot tap with your toes, but suddenly a rush of scalding hot water shoots out and burns your foot. You yell out in pain and immediately pull your foot away from the water. So we can see that painful feelings make you move away from the source of pain.

The first type of painful feelings is anxiety. Anxiety can be a very debilitating emotion, and is also non-specific. By that I mean that you can be feeling very anxious about something, but not really know exactly what is causing your anxiety symptoms. You’re feeling apprehension, dread, uneasiness and distress, but not sure why.

Anxiety can be very severe – and can certainly be strong enough to wake you from a deep sleep or cause an anxiety or panic attack.  It is usually caused by an accumulation of many smaller fears and worries that combine together to create overwhelming emotional stress. In stronger cases, it can cause you to be uncertain and incapable of positive action. In most cases it also has a negative impact on your self esteem and reduces or even wipes out your self confidence.

The second group of feeling we call pleasure feelings.  Imagine you’re going to meet someone you love very much, but haven’t seen for some time. As soon as you meet, you feel compelled to rush over and hug them really hard. Doing this would make you feel extremely happy and joyful. These emotions cause us to feel pleasure and want to move towards them.

We are all programmed to seek out pleasurable experiences and situations, and to try to have more of them in our lives. This is why romance, holidays and even pleasure parks play such an important part in our lives. Pleasurable emotions and feeling that we can’t get enough of include happiness, joy, laughter, love, friendship, fulfilment, winning, being loved and inner peace.

Pleasurable experiences make us feel good, and we feel good on the outside, we feel good on the inside, and our self confidence and self esteem grow immensely. The trick is to control your emotions so that you always feel positive about the things that happen to you in every day life. When you’re in complete control over how you react and how you feel, your emotions will always be positive, and your [ ]self confidence levels and self esteem will soar.

Loren Luck is a personal development coach who loves teaching people about building self confidence levels. Here she explains some simple techniques for how to go about   building confidence levels. Grab your copy of her free Magic Hats personal development program over at

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