Self-Help Tools For the Lost

straight jacketEverybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid. ~Albert Einstein

It is so important for people to learn how to build confidence in themselves. Unreasonable and often ridiculous societal expectation coupled with media politics have engendered a class of people walking around, dragging their self esteems through the floor. These people may enthusiastically greet everyone in the world, except the person in the mirror. How sad is this, being that who we see in the mirror is truly the only person that has always been there for us, with us, and for us. Seriously, think about it. You come into this world with “you” go through every moment of your life with “you”, and leave this world only with… yeah, you guessed it: “you”. Therefore, who better to love and to cherish than yourself. Of course, we have to love others too, but I don’t think anyone can truly love another person if they haven’t learned to love themselves first and foremost. Love thy neighbor as you love yourself. Yes, as you love yourself. Love yourself a lot and your neighbor will lavish in your gifts of kindness; love yourself little,and guess what is left for the neighbor? You get the point.

Learning to love ourselves means overlooking our faults and shortcomings. We need to mellow down our self expectations. We need to forgive ourselves when we err. Yes, no matter how stupid something we have done seem at the moment we must see it as for what it is, human err. We all make mistakes, we are actually entitled to make them. “But, I should have known better”, you say. But, guess what, you didn’t, and it is OK. We all come here to learn our moral lessons and every lesson learned should be embraced and bring us closer to a higher source. That is why in order to build our self-esteem, not the egotistic type-, we must first arrive at a certain maturity level. Ed Morler, PH.D proposed six levels of perceiving and responding or reacting to life’s situations which lead up to maturity. Each of these levels encompass different hidden emotional agendas. As we go up these levels these agendas become more philanthropic in nature. As we go down we find ourselves running from responsibility, dodging accountability, and reluctant to change. These levels are as follows; Level1:Victim, Level 2: Manipulator, Level 3: Opposer, Level 4: Coper, Level 5: Doer, Level 6: Leader. Therefore, step number one is to recognize the emotional level in which we perform. When we do this we are seeking out the stepping stones that will lead the way to incredible self confidence. But it is a choice. We can choose to grow, or to we can choose to whither.

So, how do we do it? How can we make the choice of building our self confidence when we are not happy with the stupid things we’ve done in life, or with our physical image, or with our career choices, etc.? Again, the key here is acceptance. Acceptance is the first building block. Realizing that no person in the world is perfect, and accepting this human factor helps us to let go of this striving for perfection. You see, imperfect as we may be, we all have something unique to give the world. See people may have similar talents, but they all display them in unique ways impossible to imitate. No man is an island, and no one is complete in themselves. However, it is precisely this incompleteness within ourselves the very spice of life! It’s what makes the world a platform for innovation. People go out and meet people a little different from themselves, share opposite views and Voila! A a new invention is born! It is also the reason why sometimes we attract to us mates who are although our complete opposites somehow complement our unique qualities. And isn’t that a great feeling! Would we experience any of this if we were all the same? Very unlikely, I think life would be rather monotonous and stale, don’t you agree?

So, accept yourself just the way you are. Like Albert Einstein once said ” try not to become a man of success, but a person of value.” Your true value lies in your uniqueness! Whether you are cleaning toilets at Wendy or have an executive position at Wall Street. You are not your job, or your skin color, nor your race. You are a human being made to the image and likeness of God himself, and that’s that! No other person in the world has the very same set of qualities and experiences that you have. You may even be one to lead the world to a better place just by sharing your own unique gifts or stories. It is time to free your mind of all the heavy baggage of unnecessary ridiculous self doubt and start adding joy into your life. You will instantly feel light and cheerful. This act of loving yourself, is truly and foremost an act of liberation, so go out and do what you like! For goodness sake, how long has it been since you last went for a walk in the park among the pines or fed ducks by the pond, something you loved doing so much as a child? How long since you walked hand in hand with your mate, or ran with your dog? These might seem like very simplistic forms of bringing more joy into your life, but they truly do. Life, you see, is actually quite simple. What often gets a bit too complex is our perceptions of how life should be. Is it not?

Just as small drops of water make the mighty ocean, the little things you enjoy doing have the incredible capability of turning you into a storehouse of confidence. Any desire in your heart, believe me, God has already given you all the tools needed to achieve it. Just let go. Know, that there is not much that you have to do to feel content with who you are. It is your duty to clear the mess that prevents you from listening to your heart. That’s why meditation is another stepping stone in this process of loving yourself and building self-confidence.

Learn to embrace yourself in solitude. remind yourself as you meditate how bright, intelligent and wonderful you are, because you truly are.

Another important thing that you must do to help build your confidence is finding your flock – birds of a feather flock together. You must seek out people with whom you enjoy being. They are certainly the people of your frequency and the energy flow between you and them is natural. Life becomes easy when you are among the people who are more or less on the same plane of thought as you are. These people are easier to relate to and understand you and are excellent sources of healthy conversations. Good conversations are an important need of the mind and exercise our self-esteem.

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