Once upon a time there was a young woman who had some problems as a child. Her mom and dad both worked long hours to give her the things she wanted and she believed that, since they weren’t around much, they didn’t love her. As a teen she thought they didn’t understand her because they set rules for her behavior and she again interpreted this to mean they didn’t love her. She used this interpretation of her childhood as the basis of her life story. . . blaming her parents for her own failures. She’s still tellingthe story and she is still trying to live happily ever after.
What’s your story and how often do you tell it?
Do you talk about how your mother was an alcoholic and you were embarrassed to bring friends home? Do you relate that to any problem you have in your life now – with relationships, in school or on the job?
Do you talk about how your father was never there for you and you tell the story over and over because it’s his fault you are not a success in business or in other areas of your life? After all, he didn’t come to every Little League game, missed your 10th birthday because he was on a business trip, and sometimes wasn’t home to say good-night. Has this become the story that overrides any thing positive your father ever did for and with you? Does it overshadow the good things that have happened in your life and any major accomplishes you have made? My father was never there for me and therefore . . .
Have you spent hours working with therapists only to return to telling your old story and, reinforce the misconceptions (or perhaps even realities) of years past?
Does your story allow you to blame every thing that is wrong in your life on someone or something in the past? Are you tired of living like this and experiencing the same old pain over and over?
Then you need to start telling a new story. Your stories and your statements tend to bring about a reality in your life that can become a self fulfilling prophecy.
I know a woman who hated her job. She was afraid to quit because she feared she would not get another one and she needed the income. She had learned as a child that you have to put up with whatever bad situation you happen to be in. She believed, because her parents had told her, that she “would not amount to anything.” Her current story, based on her past, was how much she disliked her job, her boss, her work assignments. Her story always ended with “I just can’t stand this anymore.” After a few years of telling this story, she developed foot problems so severe that she simply couldn’t stand on her sore feet anymore. She realized what she had done and rewrote her story to describe her perfect job. Soon she found it, quit the hated job, and eventually was able to stand on her own two feet again. (By the way, this is manifesting at its best).
Stories are powerful and may become our reality if told often enough reinforcing every negative thing we can remember from the past.
Why not rewrite your story the way you want it to be? And why don’t you start with right now? Start living your story in the now. Write it as you go. And when you start telling the old story based on limiting believes – as soon as you begin with the equivalent of that “Once upon a time” stuff, let it remind you that you’re writing a new story that starts today.
Put in your new story those things you’re most grateful for. Highlight the wonderful freedom you secured by forgiving those in your past who hurt you and how they helped you mature and grow into an independent adult. Let these events become a very distant memory. Focus on the love you give and receive and your excitement for what each day brings.
Your story can begin “Once upon today . . and end with . . . and I lived happily all day long.” Tomorrow will bring its own story.
It would be fun to journal this daily story and a year from now, read your first entry to see how wonderful your year of living in the now and telling your new story has been.