To Forgive and Forget

handsBy Scott C Baxter –

To forgive and forget can be a very difficult concept for some, and for others, this can be something that just comes natural. To do this elicits some practice, but I assure you it will make you a much happier person in the end. The idea comes about when we feel as though we are wronged in some way by another individual, as the concept of forgiving may be fathomable, but the concept of forgetting may not be.

The two go hand-in-hand if we are truly going to move on with our lives. One without the other may lead to built up frustration that will inevitably come out at the most opportune times. Forgiving one for something is never truly able to occur without moving on and forgetting what had happened. When we think about life itself it is nearly impossible to truly forget everything that occurs, but doing this in a manner that is consistent with the wrong that has occurred will allow the individual to be able to move on to the next chapter in their life.

Forgiveness has benefits for both individuals involved with the act that has occurred. For the individual who committed the act, being forgiven allows them to be at peace with what they did, and makes it possible to reflect on what occurred so that it does not happen again. For the individual who provides forgiveness, this allows them to dispel any notion of anger or aggression so that they can have an open mind about future relations. Not doing so creates undue stress on both lives as this culminates into other problems that may be compound things.

Below are some tips that may help you forgive and forget when you feel as though you may have been wronged:

-Allow time to reflect; Have you ever heard of the expression that time heals all wounds? This is not exactly a true science, but it definitely helps to mend wounds that occurred. It may seem difficult or impossible to forgive right after the act has occurred, but in time it may be easier. Provide yourself time to reflect on the situation and allow acceptance of what occurred. If needed, create an atmosphere of peace so that self-reflection can easily occur.

-Understand that everyone makes mistakes; no one in this world is perfect, and thinking so will only provide an atmosphere of continuous failure. With the idea that no one is perfect, mistakes in life are going to occur on both sides. Accepting this will provide you the understanding that everyone will make mistakes at some time in their life.

-Be open with conversation; if someone is trying to explain or apologize, be open-minded and give them a chance to do so. Listen to what they are saying and head their verbal cues as well as their nonverbal cues. Sometimes, sincerity is best noted by what an individual is not saying, more than what they are saying.

-Forgive without apology; there will be times when you must make the conscious decision to be a better person. When the other individual does not apologize it may be up to you to take the first step and open up the lines of forgiveness by taking the initiative to first forgive, and then to forget. Even if you never receive an apology you will feel better about yourself for being the better person and taking the first step in this process.

After forgiveness one must forget and be prepared to move on. One without the other will still allow you to hold resentment of the situation that had occurred. Moving on means just that, but you have to be prepared to put it all behind you and look forward to what is in front of you. Reflecting on life’s negatives inhibits you from seeing many of life’s positives. Ultimately, this will lead to a happier self, as forgiving and forgetting allows you to enjoy life to its fullest.

Being an accomplished author and having written many academia articles on various topics, I have decided to give back to communities through insightful articles with shared perspectives. In doing this, I am hoping to instill confidence in others within a community where we can all be ourselves.
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